Dealing with Trials

There's that saying that goes...

 

A gem cannot be polished without friction,

nor a man perfected without trials.

-Lucious Seneca

 

 

Well then, I better be the flippin' diamond on some famous celebrity's hand after this life. 

Now don't misunderstand me here.  I realize that everyone has their own story of heartaches and tears.  Sometimes I just feel like my trials are on steroids.  And it's times like these that I realize just how much words can hurt or help.  For example

 

Trial #1

Mom called me telling me it was time to go home to Payson to say farewell to my beloved Aunt.  This call hit me harder than I ever thought it would. In a panic I ran out the door with memories flashing through my mind of Myrl, her laughter, her grape juice, her sass, just everything. I then found out that as much as you stare at your car, your keys will not magically appear in your hand.  While I waited for a friend to help me out and unlock my door so I could retrieve my keys, I felt like I was losing my mind.  Time felt like molasses in the dead of winter. I was going crazy. 

Finally he came with the magical key and I was on my way home.

 

Trial #2

I drove to Payson.  I wasn't really crying, maybe a tear here and there but for the most part I was good.  I was just preparing to see my family.  I didn't know what to say.  All I could think was Just a few more blocks, you're almost there... and crunch.  Ok, more like BOOM!!

I pulled over on the side of the road and cried.  My brand new baby. My Watson.  The car I bought all by myself less than a month ago was...hurt...  I could see in the rear view mirror my bumper in the middle of the road.  A little old man walking toward me trying to ask if I was ok.  All I knew was my head hurt. My shoulder hurt.  I wanted to die. I hate Minnesota.  Yep, that pretty much sums up my thought process. 

I have never in my life been so rude to a stranger...

 

Even though it was all I could do to keep myself together it's still no excuse.

Although I didn't lose sleep over it.  After today I just might though.  I realized just how powerful words can be.

 

Last night my two beautiful roommates and two of my best friends were at my side.  Words were said that were like bandaids on my broken heart.  The hugs and love I felt from them were the best and exactly what I needed. 

 

I felt so hurt last night, like God was just picking on me for no reason.  So many of my loved ones have been taken from me recently.  And the ones not so loved aren't really helping the situation.  Also, really? My car? What did my car have to do with anything? He isn't even a month old...

BUT
My friends told me they loved me
My roommate called my Rocky
My cousin said "Cars can be replaced, Beccas cannot"
My favorite aunt just hugged me
Things were starting to feel OK

Now it's time to deal with these trials.
Now I have to be strong when friends tease me about the accident, or locking my keys in my room.  I feel so vulnerable and it's time to realize that no one really knows what happens behind closed doors.  Now I need to remember that teasing really isn't nice and does nothing to help the other person.  Kind words are the best words.
For example
#1
When I got to work this morning my boss asked me what happened (she saw the photo on facebook) and I just started to cry. I was hurting all over, hadn't slept, or ate, and she just hugged me.  She also made everyone be nice to me too, which was a great bonus!
#2 Trina got me flowers, Savannah got me ice cream and a beautiful card.  Those girls know me so well
#3 My Mom texted me and just said, "Love you sweetheart"
#4 Friends texted just to check in and make sure I was ok
#5 Parker said "love you cuz" It's always so nice to have family, even when you don't see each other all the time, remind you that they care

I will never know what's really going on in my friends and family's lives but after today, after seeing such drastic reactions, I don't ever want to be pain in anyone's life.  I want to be the bandaid.  I want to be the kind words that are needed. I want to be the hug that holds them together.  The world is hard enough as it is, trials don't make it any better.  But if we remember that once upon a time and some day after the happily ever after and every day in between, we are all brothers and sisters. 

My new goal, just be nice to everyone.
Anyone want to join me?